It's All About Me:
I've always wanted to say that. Truth is it's never about us, not when we have kids. I'm a mom, a step-mom, a wife, daughter & sister. I adore my blended family and hope to share tips with readers on how we make our blended family work. I have teenage daughters that keep me on my my toes & the edge of my seat and an eleven year old son who makes me smile everyday. He just wishes we had more boys in this family. I also have three grown step-sons and two step-grand kids, (damn that makes me sound old).
Ordinarily I hate the word "step" used with a blended family. I come from a huge family of yours, mine and ours, with four sisters and five brothers, some whole, some half and even more step. We never referred to our sibs, growing up as anything other than brother or sister. None of us qualified our title with "half" of "step", and that's how I feel it ought to be.
I love my step-daughter as much as I love my own children and I do not think of her in any way other than my own. Having said that, I would never interfere with the way her mother chooses to raise her. She has a mom, and it is not me. I am her dad's wife. We have an unbelievably good relationship. I am friendly with her mother, but wouldn't call us friends.
My husband has two ex-wives. I am, however, friends with his first ex-wife. I think the reason our family works is because I respect the mother's place and authority. I realize and accept that all major decisions, e.g, medical, educational, child support, rules & consequences for breaking the rules, are matters that are between my husband and the mother of his children. I do not insert myself into their business. In turn, because I leave those matters to them, they choose to include me in many of the decisions. I am always included in the decisions that have a direct or indirect affect on my marriage, my family or my household. I also believe that matters concerning my children with my ex husband are matters that are between the two of us and my husband agrees. It's a recipe that works for us and creates a better, happier, more peaceful atmosphere.
I'm a lawyer, and a writer. I write mystery/suspense/legal thrillers & am in the process of querying agents.
Ordinarily I hate the word "step" used with a blended family. I come from a huge family of yours, mine and ours, with four sisters and five brothers, some whole, some half and even more step. We never referred to our sibs, growing up as anything other than brother or sister. None of us qualified our title with "half" of "step", and that's how I feel it ought to be.
I love my step-daughter as much as I love my own children and I do not think of her in any way other than my own. Having said that, I would never interfere with the way her mother chooses to raise her. She has a mom, and it is not me. I am her dad's wife. We have an unbelievably good relationship. I am friendly with her mother, but wouldn't call us friends.
My husband has two ex-wives. I am, however, friends with his first ex-wife. I think the reason our family works is because I respect the mother's place and authority. I realize and accept that all major decisions, e.g, medical, educational, child support, rules & consequences for breaking the rules, are matters that are between my husband and the mother of his children. I do not insert myself into their business. In turn, because I leave those matters to them, they choose to include me in many of the decisions. I am always included in the decisions that have a direct or indirect affect on my marriage, my family or my household. I also believe that matters concerning my children with my ex husband are matters that are between the two of us and my husband agrees. It's a recipe that works for us and creates a better, happier, more peaceful atmosphere.
I'm a lawyer, and a writer. I write mystery/suspense/legal thrillers & am in the process of querying agents.
I eat peanut butter on everything, including ice cream. I love dogs, books, traveling & hanging out with my parents, and extended family (I know, make me sound weird), huh? I wear mismatched socks, but wish I could go barefoot, all day long. I love the beach and one day I'm going to retire to my mom's beautiful beach front condo in Florida (Shh...I haven't told my mom yet.) I love gardening and all water sports and activities. We have two dogs, a Beagle/Rat Terrier, named Oreo, who behaves like the energizer bunny on crack, and a Lab puppy named Taz, who is the smartest dog I've ever met. I wish I'd known how great labs were. I swear, I think Taz was born, already house trained.
My fourteen year old daughter is our only surviving triplet and she lost her hearing when she was two. She has a cochlear implant which allows her to hear almost as well as the rest of us. Parenting someone with a disability has not been a challenge, it has been a blessing and I hope to connect with other moms who are struggling with similar issues. Raising teens has heightened my awareness of the dangers of social media & cyber bullying and I hope to share information with other moms on this and other topics.
This is Blake now, at age 14. She was born at 25.6 weeks gestation and weighed one pound thirteen ounces. Today she is a normal, healthy, happy, beautiful teenager. Blake is hearing impaired. She wears a hearing aid in her right ear where her loss is severe/profound and has a cochlear implant on the left side were she suffers complete hearing loss. She does not let her impairment define her. Blake is a varsity cheerleader and has a 3.6 GPA, in a regular classroom. She does not sign, because we wanted her to learn to hear with her implant and hearing aid and not use sign as a crutch.
Below are photos of Blake in the N.I.C.U, when she was born. The fat lady next to the warming tray is me "Mom", keep in mind, I'd just given birth to triplets.
Oreo
Oreo & Taz
Bennett, My eleven year old
Blake, Bennett & dad. Bennett won the MVP trophy for his soccer team
I am a non conventional mother. I am a working mom. My kids make mistakes and I do not expect them to be perfect. I try to let them resolve their own dramatic issues (if at all possible). I am not the kind of parent who tattles to other parents (unless a child's health or safety is an issue). I cuss (not at my kids), and usually not in their presence. I make parenting mistakes and I learn from them. I have a sense of humor and I often resort to it, in getting through the rough days. If a sense of humor or cursing offends you, then you are on the wrong blog. No offense, and none taken that you prefer not to be here.
This is not an X-rated blog, it does not require one of those warnings or labels, alerting readers to adult content. However, it sure as hell ain't a G rated blog either. I can't say with certainty that the content would pass the PG screening, either. If you are offended with my bluntness, wit, or choice of words, I understand that you don't want to be here. If you are a Leave it to Beaver type mom (and really, I wish I had the stomach for it and the patience to be one) you probably will not have a good time here.
I love my family!
I love the beach! Oh and I love Martinis, Pina Coladas & Pinot Grigio & Diet Dr. Pepper (not combined).
Below are photos of Blake in the N.I.C.U, when she was born. The fat lady next to the warming tray is me "Mom", keep in mind, I'd just given birth to triplets.
Oreo
Oreo & Taz
Bennett, My eleven year old
Blake, Bennett & dad. Bennett won the MVP trophy for his soccer team
I am a non conventional mother. I am a working mom. My kids make mistakes and I do not expect them to be perfect. I try to let them resolve their own dramatic issues (if at all possible). I am not the kind of parent who tattles to other parents (unless a child's health or safety is an issue). I cuss (not at my kids), and usually not in their presence. I make parenting mistakes and I learn from them. I have a sense of humor and I often resort to it, in getting through the rough days. If a sense of humor or cursing offends you, then you are on the wrong blog. No offense, and none taken that you prefer not to be here.
This is not an X-rated blog, it does not require one of those warnings or labels, alerting readers to adult content. However, it sure as hell ain't a G rated blog either. I can't say with certainty that the content would pass the PG screening, either. If you are offended with my bluntness, wit, or choice of words, I understand that you don't want to be here. If you are a Leave it to Beaver type mom (and really, I wish I had the stomach for it and the patience to be one) you probably will not have a good time here.
I love my family!
I love the beach! Oh and I love Martinis, Pina Coladas & Pinot Grigio & Diet Dr. Pepper (not combined).
neat post! whwere is your other blog?
ReplyDeleteHttp://fictiontoolbox.blogspot.com but, I have been on a length blogging hiatus. Thanks for visiting. I plan on returning as soon as I get my everything squared away with my kids at school . Two of them have started new schools and my hearing impaired daughter is having a difficult time adjusting to high school.
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